Your Regular Dose of Positive Spin...
Because You Don't Appreciate Enough


Nobody even knows why humans and other animals need sleep. It doesn’t really make much sense when you think about it. If food can provide energy, then shouldn’t eating the rights foods continuously make it possible to avoid sleep altogether? It seems like a logical argument:

If you eat the right foods, you get energy.
If you have energy, you don’t need to sleep.
Therefore, if you eat the right foods, you shouldn’t need to sleep.

But we obviously need sleep, otherwise everyone wouldn’t be doing it on a daily basis for a third of their lifetime. So it must not be about energy at all. Some theorists think it’s just a restoration process so that the brain can stop functioning on a conscious level for long enough to repair neurons. Other theorists think we sleep just because we have nothing more pertinent to do, and the body knows it’s better to be safe and asleep rather than awake and risking death with each and every step you take.

Regardless, if you get your full 8 hours a night, then you are significantly less likely to:

  • be fat
  • die of a heart attack
  • die of cancer
  • die before you are 55
  • say stupid things

Which all makes sense because you can’t eat like a pig or smoke cigarettes while you are asleep. But you also can’t exercise or read books, so we are basically back at square one when trying to understand why sleep is so beneficial. Wouldn’t exercising for those 8 hours be better than sleeping? And wouldn’t you actually be smarter if you read instead of slept, rather than stupider?

But really, who cares? Sleeping just feels good. And we get to do it every damned day. Plus you get to dream sexy-time things and nobody can judge you for it.

Sleep is effing awesome.


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