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David Bowie

David Bowie's Wonky Eyes

It’s easiest to explain why David Bowie is so awesome by making a list of what sets him apart from other musical geniuses.

  • He hasn’t died of an OD. Yet.
  • That whole different colored eyeballs thing.
  • Changes.
  • When he re-invents himself, he doesn’t come off as artificial or desperate. *cough* madonna *cough*
  • He was bisexual before it was cool. In fact, he met his first wife when they were dating the same man.
  • Labyrinth.
  • His real name is Davy Jones. And yes, he’s the only musical genius to have that name.
  • Space Oddity.
  • He’s actually got a sense of humor. *cough* prince *cough*
  • He owned his Internet presence before any other musician, and released the first Internet-only single.
  • Apparently, Bowie Bonds caused the current economic crisis.
  • Modern Love.
  • He’s got the batshit craziest scene in the batshit craziest movie ever made: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.
  • He experiments with performance art without crossing over into pointless theatrics. *cough* lady gaga *cough*
  • He’s 64 today. Dude looks 40, max. That’s nuts.
  • His crotch. His crotch. It even has its own facebook page.
  • Suffragette City.
  • He was close friends/huge rivals with Marc Bolan of T-Rex, who was also awesome, and he kinda looks like Tilda Swinton.
  • He’s collaborated with John Lennon, Queen, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop and Trent Reznor. He most likely had sex with all of them. Although that’s sheer conjecture.
  • He’s David Effing Bowie.

So, for managing to avoid death, self-destruction, obsolescence, flaming out, or just fading away, and for making memorable music for fifty years, David Bowie is effing awesome.


 

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