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Posts Tagged ‘celebrities’


Gabourey Sidibe

Gabby Sibide was working at a call center when she auditioned for the movie Precious. A couple years later she was walking the red carpet as an Oscar nominee.

Her role in Precious was beyond horrible: a morbidly-obese sexually-physically-and-emotionally-abused under-educated ghetto forgettable who was all but abandoned by society and her own family.

Her role on the red-carpet was awesome: a bubbly, giggly, confident sexbomb who was more interested in having fun with her newfound fame — like making sexually suggestive comments involving a Gerard Butler menage-a-trois — than placating red-carpet host Ryan Seacrest and his vapid softball questions.

Did she go all sourpuss like Denzel Washington and act like the world owed her an Oscar? No. Did she go all cry-baby like Halley Berry and act like an Oscar nomination was so much more than just a silly Hollywood award? No.  Did she go on the defensive when Howard Stern called her an “enormous fat black chick” who will never work in Hollywood again? No. Did she turn into a cause-crusader when absolutely everyone — including the people running this site right here — tried to make everything about her race and obesity? No. Like water off a duck’s back, Gabby just skipped along, unfazed, telling her interviewers that what makes her happy are “naps, sushi and watching “Oz.” La la la la la.

Suddenly, she wasn’t Precious anymore, she was the girl everyone wanted to be best friends with.

BFF!

Gabourey Sibide is effing awesome.


 

David Bowie

David Bowie's Wonky Eyes

It’s easiest to explain why David Bowie is so awesome by making a list of what sets him apart from other musical geniuses.

  • He hasn’t died of an OD. Yet.
  • That whole different colored eyeballs thing.
  • Changes.
  • When he re-invents himself, he doesn’t come off as artificial or desperate. *cough* madonna *cough*
  • He was bisexual before it was cool. In fact, he met his first wife when they were dating the same man.
  • Labyrinth.
  • His real name is Davy Jones. And yes, he’s the only musical genius to have that name.
  • Space Oddity.
  • He’s actually got a sense of humor. *cough* prince *cough*
  • He owned his Internet presence before any other musician, and released the first Internet-only single.
  • Apparently, Bowie Bonds caused the current economic crisis.
  • Modern Love.
  • He’s got the batshit craziest scene in the batshit craziest movie ever made: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.
  • He experiments with performance art without crossing over into pointless theatrics. *cough* lady gaga *cough*
  • He’s 64 today. Dude looks 40, max. That’s nuts.
  • His crotch. His crotch. It even has its own facebook page.
  • Suffragette City.
  • He was close friends/huge rivals with Marc Bolan of T-Rex, who was also awesome, and he kinda looks like Tilda Swinton.
  • He’s collaborated with John Lennon, Queen, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop and Trent Reznor. He most likely had sex with all of them. Although that’s sheer conjecture.
  • He’s David Effing Bowie.

So, for managing to avoid death, self-destruction, obsolescence, flaming out, or just fading away, and for making memorable music for fifty years, David Bowie is effing awesome.


 

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