Your Regular Dose of Positive Spin...
Because You Don't Appreciate Enough

Posts Tagged ‘foreskin’


Atoms

Since it’s the first post, we should start out with a basic one.

Of course atoms are awesome. They are the building blocks of everything you know. Like universal Legos. Even without getting into the intricacies of electrons and protons and neutrons and quarks, or the whole new world of absurd physics that take place at the quantum level — where up is down and down is up — atoms are awesome.

The real reason atoms are so utterly awesome is because there are so many of them and because they exist nearly forever. This means they recycle through the planet, the solar system, and the universe ceaselessly, into all forms of matter, which in turn means that the former atoms of the long-time deceased are now a part of each and every one of us. In fact, the sheer number of atoms in your body combined with their innate longevity means that in all probability you have up to a billion atoms of Shakespeare in you right now. And this is not just some out-there concept. It’s actual math.

It can take a century or two for the atoms of the formerly alive to be reconstituted through the cycle, so you aren’t quite part Hitler or John Holmes yet. But you probably do currently “possess” atoms that were once King Tut, Cleopatra, Leonardo da Vinci, and Joan of Arc. Basically, you are the combined product of every single one of the awesomest people who ever lived.

Of course, you are also built out of atoms that were once poop.

It’s at this point where some Christians might get excited about the prospect of sharing atoms with Jesus, but let’s not forget that they also believe that he eventually “ascended” into heaven, leaving none of his earthly atoms behind, except perhaps for those in his circumcized foreskin. So because of that one little detail, one can surmise that it is indeed possible we are all part Jesus as well. But only one of his parts in particular.

Billions upon billions of atoms make up you. Including those that were formerly in Jesus' foreskin.

Atoms — those of Jesus or otherwise — are effing awesome.


 

Tag Cloud