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Posts Tagged ‘the lottery’

Imagine winning the biggest lottery in the world without ever even buying a ticket.

That’s basically what happened to a woman named Patricia who discovered she shared the same birth-mother with Oprah Winfrey — the most powerful woman in the entire universe. One day you are a woman trying to solve the emotional puzzle of why your mother abandoned you at birth, and the next day you are bringing your kids to Thanksgiving dinner at auntie Oprah’s mansion.

And it doesn’t have to be about the money, obviously, but let’s get real. While the fame and attention alone would be considerable, and discovering a sister you never knew you had would be life-altering, you would also be pretty much guaranteed a million dollar book deal right out of the gate, and presumably some of the awesomest Christmas presents from the Martha Stewart collection every year until you die.

This literally seems like a miracle. The mother of all dreams come true. But it could happen to anyone. Well, maybe not the Oprah connection specifically, but you never know what all of your ancestors were doing three generations ago — who was banging whom, who was hiding pregnancies, who was sleeping with the next door neighbor — and where all those secret progenies may have ended up. Someone could do a random background check or an unrelated DNA test and suddenly you’re a Kennedy.

Not to sully your grandmother’s reputation with hypotheticals, but her secret pregnancy when she was 17 could easily have resulted in you being a distant Baldwin brother. Although that particular example might not be the jackpot you were hoping for.

Knowing humans and their apparent inability to avoid lustful transgressions, there are probably a million secret lotteries like this one just waiting to be won all over the world right now. You never know when one is going to drop out of the sky and smash in your head with good fortune. If it could happen to Oprah’s long-lost half-sister, then it could happen to you. And you never even need to buy a ticket!

Related OSM:

Oprah’s Long-Lost Half-Sister is effing awesome.


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